Working Title.....

Creating a blog in which I had anticipated to fill in everyday didn't quite go as one had expected - case in point me writing something months later. Today, you might wonder why have I taken to my laptop and typing away again, well to those wondering,mainly people in my head that I think actually read my blogs, well its because I'm bored and sick with the flu. And like they say an idle mind is the Devil's workshop well in my case he actually compelled me to type something down.

Hmmmm! where do I begin? Well, in the last two months or so I have realized that my mental capacity to fathom the concepts of right/wrong; good/bad; forgive/forget;live and be merry had reached its maturation or in my case way past its deadline. I woke up one day realizing that all the crappy situations that one encounters as a young adult is just part of the learning curve. There's no manual or training wheels for us to be guided with. The wheels came off the minute puberty sets in and we as human beings wake up to the countless sensations and expectations we yearn in life and what life wants in return from us. Nothing in life is just a take situation, hence, came the "give and take" system where man must give in return to receive, and in my past situations I have been a product of such a system. I'll admit it wasn't an easy feat and with each taking frustration showed it's ugly head. Yet, here I am writing this all now. Exposing it to maybe those of you who would take the time to read at my delirious wordings of a life that may I add to the rest of us is a "work in progress".

So, dear reader, better yet, note to self- in life everything is a working title. A cinematic frame where one does get to edit some scenes or cut them out. A movie where there is no final "definite" ending, one can turn the plot a bit. And like the Bard himself said it," The world is a stage" and we are the actors playing in it....or something like that. So smile, cry, be a bipolar freak with separation anxiety or the queen of a "social" ball...end of the day...non of it matters....because you control your fate... i.e., like you, I, also control the end credits to my movie.

THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE.

In quiet serenity she seems to be

how on staring at her it all seem complete.

Touched by the face that seems jaded

One wondered whether something had faded...

A memory of some lost happiness 

maybe a beauty failed to see

never really knew what I saw in this picture

Was it the sadness in her eyes?

the pale skin that seemed so weak

the lips that uttered nothing

the hair swept back in a bun

the kimono she wore the colours had run..

Of shades of a forgotten past

I wonder what it was?

Yet, as I stared longer I saw of a faint spark

A glint of hope in her face it had mark.

Then I viewed it some more to see

That it spoke-

like a mirror reflecting me.

The Lion, the Fish and the Scales...

In the kingdom of happy coexistence

tread the lioness and her loyal kin the scales.

one day in the kingdom entered the mighty lord of the fish 

claiming the lioness's hand only to wander his eyes onto the sharp witted Justitia.

however, time wasn't kind and the mighty fish sought nothing more but Justitia. Happy and content they moved away. Yet bound by entitlement and promise he was swayed away. And the Lioness laid her paws back to where they belong claiming him as her's expelling Justitia. Justitia grows blind and the scales that balanced her heart tilts towards indifference. She grew indifferent as they forever were haunted by her shadow. For what was taken from her shall never come back and even if time heals her blindness towards them never restored for they are but dead things she can never see. Fallen from the scales she balanced so well they now tilt towards oblivion... 

Hollow man

He stood there in the dark of night

holding forth a torchlight

staring into the dark

all that could be heard was a bark

of a dog in the neighbour's yard

yet there he stood still in the dark.

He kept on holding on to the light

as it flickered in the ground

he did not flash it towards the sound

of what could be steps on the marshes

he just kept on standing still

never moving, never flinching

just a man in the dark of night.

Lost was he in the death of the night.

Or was he looking for a sight?

one could not tell but wonder

was he a man or a dead soul

standing forth in this ungodly hour?

Searching for something in the night 

Like the rest of the souls wandering the streets

Looking for a familiar thing lost

That was once their's to keep.

Introspection.

 Quite forgotten what its like to feel the sense of happiness. A vague emotion that once seem but a little girl's memory of how life was and could always be. I wake up now this ringing thought of unending distress and misery that youth has led me but into an endless drudgery of death, pain, toil and indifference. It's but a vicious cycle where people turn on you. Where people die. Where nothing but pain and war surrounds this Capitalistic money hungry world of fat suits and liars. Lies, lust, foolery play their part in this new yet old self deprecating life of youth. 

      Cynical, yes I maybe so. And you reading this would find me nothing more but a pessimistic fool complaining and emotively trying to live in shades of black. However, whatever your views maybe know that I write this from one simple truth that life is nothing more but a fleeting and drowning ship. It either shall run its course and sail the high seas of all the glory and happiness that one can find but it also reaches the tides that crash into it and who knows the hidden icebergs that could drown it. That is life. An unexpected journey where paths have bumps. 

The bumps are what makes it tolerable and interesting. One learns, one grows, one sinks into many layers of  emotions that one thought never existed. Introspection! A word I may use. But all in all the shitty parts are what makes life interesting. Because you either decide to hide behind the shadow of a dominating soul sucking understanding of life or you kick all that to the curb and rise above it... its always easier to put things down and say all the things one wants to say. Demons that want to claim their pound of flesh; the heroes that want to slay your dragons and the evil chamber maids that want to poison you in your sleep. That's life  a medieval battlefield despite the modernity of our generation the honest truth is everyone are still barbaric and brutal _ they just have learned to use gossip, nuclear bombs, economic downfall and every form of electronic media to change and tarnish life. 

So whats the point to this entire note, well I guess I just wonder whether there is anything as a silver-lining? And if so does it appear to those that will it or it just got lost in the thick mist of clouds? Whatever it maybe life has often been a bittersweet notion and I guess that's what makes us humans and not Gods.