Mad world.

 Its funny how time passes so fast yet we are still stuck with petty thoughts of time before. I get it why we hang on to everything that happens and passes in our lives its like a brain thing to record and store and to label and to document everything that has happened in an anticipation of what's to come. We fret and we stir in our seats over the outcome of something that has not even taken flight yet; we quiver with this ceaseless anticipation of what shall come and how do we deal with it? Questions after questions- no human can go on with his or her life without questioning every single thing that goes on. I have come to realize that the biggest paranoid being in this planet earth is "man" himself. Even the guy you pay to listen to your problems and to voice out what your thinking or grieving about is as vulnerable in his state of authority as the patient he thinks is a "nut-case". It's funny how psychologically people prescribe you or corner  you into a certain group- the loner, the social- butterfly or the plain old clinically insane but what they fail to prescribe that the sociopath they think they are labeling you into could might as well be them themselves. Trust me, I ain't no expert in psychology or the human mind but I do know that if all the people in the world can have a mind that people so stated as the thing that sets man from beast then surely such people never saw the state of earth right about now. The queer reality that we live in just proves the very fact that madness is sanity and that insanity could most probably save you  from this arbitrated world of capitalism and pop culture. Healthy living has turned into a cultural lifestyle of the rich and famous while poverty takes the mask of human activism. Hypocrisy clouds every street. Even the blind guy begging on the street can rob you in an instant. Justice has taken the back seat in a world run by stereotypes and exhibitionists that seem to all have a "dirty little secret".
    So fellow reader, these are just ramblings of a cynical fool who probably doesn't have a clue as to what the hell she is writing but if you do see truth in it know that mankind has the power to evolve- the question is- into what???

OctObeR...

 Every month has it's own distinguishing figure some have May some have June I on the other hand have October. I'm that kind of a person who holds on to something so much that trust me it becomes quite exhausting doing it. I cling to a thing be it anything that I seem to forget that maybe just maybe it does not have a significance at all. Like I said before- to each his own. In my case its "October". I guess since it's my birth month I find it more appealing than all the other months I know how arrogant on my part...can't help it admit it as you're reading this blog you are probably thinking that your month is way more superior than all the other months too. :) 
  Getting back on track, what I am trying to say is that I feel like a new breathe of fresh air has come back into me with the coming of October- like I'm being born once again. In this month that carries both the signs of the "scale" and the "scorpion" I must say I'm leaning more towards on the scale side being a Libran as I am. October, is that month where I get to experience that bliss of happiness knowing that its the month I celebrate my birth but most of all it celebrates the birth of my mom! My mom you see kind folks is a blessing that came into my life that I can never seem to lose thanks of. I admit I ain't no believer in the whole crap about destiny and fate and that people are placed according to their past lives- but if I do just for a second am such a person I am very grateful to God for placing me here in this place for maybe in my past I must have done some really good deed to have been born from my mother's womb. A Libran just like her.So why again such ample joy on my part for October? the answer lies in this simple fact that I was born in the month that my mother was born. To know that in all this sadness and angst that I have in me for losing her I will always know that on this month I don't have to be sad for I celebrate the day she came to this earth. I rejoice knowing that every time this month comes I know she gets to be born again. In death she may lie but in the coming of this month as the leaves begin to turn colour and shed my mother rises again in the day of her birth.
  So I guess what I'm trying to say, is that please don't disown a month or a date that is important to you. Remember it always and hold it to grandeur for you may never know one day all this will fade and every thing collapses but what shall remain is that particular date that you hold dear be it your birthday or birth month never take it for granted for with anticipation comes hope and with hope comes serenity. I find my serenity in October. Being an "October child" as I am I guess I am a little bias and maybe have uplifted it to too grand a pillar but so be it for this month too shall fade like summer and very soon all warm thoughts shall turn to frost...for if autumn comes winter is never far behind.

the shambles of development....or in simple terms "Corruption"

ladies n gents, this is what a recreation center looks like........two swings in a grassy ground with one hell of a dilapidated gate............Ah! I can see the fun in all of it (ironic ain't it?) 

what were people thinking when...

travelling you get to see the weirdest billboards out there.......couldn't help but click such an "exciting" billboard........lol maybe you guess have seen it to??? :D 

A verse from Charlotte Bronte's LIFE

                                                             LIFE, believe, is not a dream

                                                                   So dark as sages say;

Oft a little morning rain Foretells a pleasant day.  Sometimes there are clouds of gloom, But these are transient all; If the shower will make the roses bloom, O why lament its fall ?

Social Decorum: A mirror of social indiscretion

To those who ask the question why on earth do people peep into others windows instead of watching their own blinds? Fellow questioner you are not alone. It's weird to write this but I have realize that the human soul can only bear so much but somehow it does slip up and frustration creeps in and you wake up with question of utter despair. Maybe 'despair' isn't quite the right word to use- disgust, that's the word. Through out time it has been observed that the normal adolescent goes through this phase of utter chaos- you know when things seem to always not go your way. Trust me I go through that same shit as anyone of you who think to agree with me. Recently, I have discovered that behind this facade of being happy n sociable I really don't care much for social discourse. I find triviality in the idea of making small talk. Yet somehow the earth spins and takes this 360 degree turn and flips you into a chaotic mess of being around uneasy situations. I've been told that there is only so much that one can talk about just to carry on with social decorum but come on- whoever thought social decorum was a healthy way of interaction clearly didn't get the memo that it was more about vicious gossip and unhealthy tattle. 


Social decorum has now taken the shape of door to door snoop stories. People masquerade as happy co-settlers only to find a glitch in the other to rag about. So fine folks, the start of this para I began with the question of why things happen to those who really don't want anything happening- I post the question because I have realize that civilized culture drags one into a room of unhealthy chatter that one really doesn't one to be locked in... honestly, if social decorum meant tales of an unsettling nature I would rather skip it and settle for solitude. In silence one finds peace knowing that one is not near such ugliness. Facades are what surrounds us and it is what social decorum has turn into. 


So readers beware of one thing- get yourself out of sticky situations even if it is something that you find no escape root from. I know its hard but do not let petty crap about this and that and him and her ruin your day. Honestly, people would live more happily if they actually cared less about the person next to them...maybe next time you won't have to ask yourself why the hell that I get myself into such crappy situations. Remember social decorum is a maze of social purgatory!!!

LONDON BURNING!!!!

As man lay in the rubble of his own destruction, he lays there in agony and pain. No longer is he safe in the place he once called home. He is but a mere projection now of what anger, despair and violence has put on him. His face mirrors the face of sadness- staring at him with cold eyes and laughing at how pitiful human kind has become. No longer do we need prophets to foretell our endings our "own actions" says it for us. A spark has been lit that has completely ignited into a fire of chaos and destruction and man can do nothing but join in the destruction. Man has always been given a choice- you either choose to be part of the problem or it's solution never both. In this case, the problem was man's own greed and ego that got in the way of solution. What started of on such bad terms could have easily been ended in a better solution instead it dragged on with the cloud of revenge and hatred. No one cared about the consequences. No one cared  about the innocent.

So here we are now, the place London, the people victims of a crime that for years now they would wonder to themselves did it really have to be this way? Was violence really the answer? Violence does not bring back the dead. It does not seem patriotic or heroic- it is but a sad way for man to show that he is crying out for attention. The dead can't defend themselves nor give a sigh of relief. Instead they lay there in their shallow graves rotting away with the soil and like the flesh that once covered their bones they shall peril. So also the living- who now stand so close to the door of revenge that absolution seems like a tiring affair. The dead weep in their sleeps as the living morn in their living hours. Cry, cry. cry!!! why is everything ending in tears because the guilt of our actions rest in the soul that breathes of truth.

No matter how wrong the world might be at times. However, pathetic our political govt. has become, or the people that lead us fall know one thing- we were all cut from the same cloth of life. No race, colour, language, place non of that can come in the way of what is truth- the truth that we all have the same organs, the same heart, the same lungs. We breathe the same air. We bleed red when we are hurt and we cry the same "salty" tears. And the biggest truth of them all we all die when we our shot, smothered, poisoned or beaten to death. We die! No one can escape that part.

Its funny how history and bitterness carries on at every step at every life but they fail to acknowledge the present that is there right in front of our very eyes. Supremacy can never come to anything and maybe equality is a failed dream- but that is my dream! and maybe countless others. Never be afraid to take a stand of patience and humility when it comes to seeking justice for no good can come from violence causing more violence. Pain breathes pain but it also can sometimes breathe forgiveness.

The high towers of morality collapsed today. The streets of peace now become depictions of savagery and the human face that once seemed different from the beast now resembles the ugliest of beast.
The beast feels pain- he feels anger- he might even feel pity and apologetic but never can he forgive. Now forgiveness is an immortal's gift that somehow the mortal man has lost a long the way but maybe just maybe in a small ray of hope there can be some sight of it...Redemption is a high price for the sins that have been done. How are we to answer when we reach our pits and our questioned with one simple question- Why did you not stop before you picked up that first stone to throw??? Where was reason then?

Confuse not justice with violent revenge for justice can only be given to those who see their answers in the solution of things and not in the cause of the problem... Let London burn for now while it's citizens pick up the pieces in the thick mist of regret and sadness that looms over their heads...Is there hope for a future if the very present seems engulfed in the same backward foils of the past???

A Myopian Tale.....

Long time ago, not so much in the past lived a bunch of girls who went to an all girls college. The beginning of a new life- a life that didn't involve uniforms or routine checks. A life that had it's own new course to stir. These girls had such a deep bond that they in this day in age what was called "girl talk" invented a new lingo called "myopian texts"...we barely knew what the hell we were talking about and trust me we didn't :) but somehow we had our own way of understanding each other and sheltering each other from the outside world. Our very own imaginative state of happiness. Sisters lost at birth and reunited to start a fresh.
 The "two-legged" wolves had no idea what was up and God knows we taunted them. Always having each others back we seem to stay in tact. Time might have shifted us apart yet however, we still remember the part- the part when we realized that no life can take away the memories we made in this path.
 To those who know what I mean this is my way of compressing my feelings in a brief para of idiotic tales of stalkerazzies; bunkings and boys in certain white caps...lol 
to the sisters i love the most.....a memory to cherish

CLARITY

I woke up with this feeling today that the sky was becoming clearer. I lived so much in my haze of thought that I failed to see what was there in front of me atleast what could have been in front of me.  I sometimes stumble so much in the past that my present and future seem so bleak that one could say I don't see anything. Ever felt like the world is constantly pounding it's weight on your shoulders- I do...everyday for the last 5 years of my life. I think I have forgotten what it's like to feel especially with people. I have this numbness to human contact that even a slight bit of it I manage to screw it up. God knows i have! I no longer seem to be in their keel everything is shifted and my path way off then the rest.
 Yet I woke up! Like a weight has been lifted and the sun seems to shine in my world despite the gloom. I guess i finally realized I had no longer to hang on to stuff (people) I had moved on an dso have they. I guess sometimes when you are down and out and least bit in the right frame of mind- clarity sets in and all that suck some point of time now seemed like a rite of passage.
I finally found clarity! 

A prey to hunger...

I thought that the world was at my feet. I had everything. All the things that I probably take for granted because my selfish mind has programmed me to think that I am safe in my little cocoon of mediocrity. But I was wrong. I never thought about the child who didn't have what I had...Looking at this pic I realized how what we have even how small it might be is a hell of a lot more than what a child in Africa has....be thankful you can sleep with a full stomach while the BOY in the pic is actually being preyed upon by his hunger.........

nothing could ever speak more about the bond of love than this pic...

I came into this world thinking I had to fend for myself but nothing could make me feel more safe than the thought of knowing you will always be there to protect me...

the reason why life seems more complete..

a classic that shall live on.....

Faith-Love-Peace

I live in such a place where the words that hold such grace once now are mere words that seem contrived and displaced. No longer do they resound like what they should be, blind utterance and insecurity clouds such words now. People have forgotten the very meaning of what they stand for and no more do they act as words that hold the highest ground instead they are mere mentions for the sake of keeping face. The truth is, we have all lost sight of what we want from life and now even words like faith, love and peace have become simple dictations in our everyday life just for the sake of saying we are above the animals. However, if that be the case then why is it we act like the beasts of men who hunt and prey on our own fellow beings and instead of human contact we torture our counterparts with ugliness and hatred.

The world is dying in it's own filth and somewhere in all this darkness lets hope our faith will guide us, love nurture us and peace keep us safe. For the future can only be what we want it to be and change is a natural process that we ought to start incorporating in our lives. Let meaning once again hold place in our lives and profanity far away...

Wise words from a style Icon...

A fragment from H.W.Longfellow's Flowers

         In all places, then, and in all seasons,

         Flowers expand their light and soul-like wings,Teaching us, by most persuasive reasons,
         How akin they are to human things.

And with childlike, credulous affection
We behold their tender buds expand;
Emblems of our own great resurrection,
Emblems of the bright and better land.

Lost in Identity...

You wake up one day and realize that the "me" I see is just but a figment of the person I thought society wanted me to be. An empty shell, walking, talking, smiling, making friendly discourses to the strangers in the room only to realize I am nothing but the worm pinned for everyone to see and judge. A thing made out from societal temper. Where is the "me" I once knew? That child born from the womb of sincerest purity only to be brought in a place which has now tinged me with the colour of who I ought to be. I panic- I am manic! Only because the person which I thought I would be has now become a cog in a machine called society that has suppressed my identity.

      My Identity now resides in the pillars of moral conduct and the texture of political control. In this so called "Democracy" I am tied to the plagues of narrow-minded statures and blind fanaticism of a world that has yet to see "me" for me despite it being FREE. Do you know your identity? Or are you as trapped as the rest of us?